What I thought about: The Push by Ashley Audrain

book review, Uncategorized

⭐️ 5/5 stunning!

The push is heart wrenching, when I was only half way through I could already feel the pain in my chest, the tears welling in my eyes and an intense feeling of dread. This story is so raw and so honest. It explores motherhood and the relationships between mother and child and also how this can affect other relationships. To have your deepest fears actualised in the form of broken, damaged relationships and isolation, when with the ones that you should have the closest bond. To be a family often is synonymous of being a unit that will always be a team but this is shattered and the devastating story explores this so well.

Although at present I do not have children myself, I can imagine that to be a mother is a huge change and will be challenging in many ways. It is difficult to adjust and to have the responsibility for this new life and they look to you for love and support, what if this doesn’t happen though?, what if you feel they hate you?, or don’t want you, what if you can’t connect and you feel like you are going insane and no one can see this or will help you.

This book was a whole journey for me. The book explores 4 generations of women in Blythe’s family. Her grandmother (Etta),her mum (Cecilia),Blythe and her daughter Violet. Although the focus is on these women, it delves into relationships outside of this but also gives us insight into the life of these women and the heartache and battles that they have been through and why their actions may be a reflection of their treatment. Also how their experiences have been similar & how they have handled certain things that have happened to them.

This book is not a light read and I found it quite intense and quite difficult in parts where it can be quite graphic and does not hold back but I also liked that about the book, I felt immersed in this story and intrigued to keep reading. The book explores growing into womanhood and then motherhood. It also looks at relationships and how they can be toxic and damaging and how people can be gaslighted. I would agree with people who say this is not a psychological thriller in some ways, yes it’s fast paced and there are twists and it’s exciting but I feel like it’s much deeper and really trying to explore in more depth the fears and struggles that women face in life. Society norms of growing up happy, beauty, growing into a woman, getting married, having a baby etc.

This book gave me chills, it is a stunning book that is gripping and hard to put down, definitely a book I would re-read and that’s saying something. I would recommend this book if you are okay with darker, more unnerving reads however I definitely need something a bit lighter as my next read. But oh wow! Was it amazing! Breathtaking.

My thoughts on Writers and Lovers by Lily King

book review, Uncategorized

4/5 stars ⭐️

I love romance and I love comedy and literally cannot get enough, ever. Writers and Lovers filled that void I felt, perfectly. When I wasn’t reading it I was pining after it, all I wanted to do was sit and read this book.

Writers and Lovers is set in 1997 about Casey Peabody who is 31 years old and waitressing tables while in her spare time writing a novel that she has agonised over for 6 years of her life. This story has it all, love, loss and loans. Casey is struggling to get by on her waitress wage, living in a rented potting shed, trying to get her novel published while still paying back thousands of dollars worth of student loans and dealing with the cost and worries of health.

It is as much a story about finding your way in life and accomplishment as it is a story about relationships and the different kinds of relationships you will experience in life.

Casey as a character I find likeable as well as relatable. She doesn’t have her life at all together but she is trying to work towards discovering what she wants and what makes her happy. I like that Casey isn’t afraid to feel things and is able to articulate those feelings and make decisions despite all her unknowns. We learn a lot from Casey about her past and her relationships with family and love interests. Casey is dealing with the sudden loss of her mother, which is spoken about throughout the book with some heartbreaking moments. One part where she momentarily forgets the loss of her mother and feels excited to talk to her mum and then reality sets in, that she can no longer do this. For me family is important and it’s often my parents I want to tell any exciting news, to not be able to do this is a devastating thought, not being able to talk to the people closest to you for any reason. Although Casey grew up with her father it was often difficult and is still strained as an adult which we find out about throughout the story which also adds to her feelings of failure and her need to be successful.

I’m not always a big fan of a love triangle however I feel the way it played out in the book was better than others I have read before. Although there is stereotyping I didn’t feel like it was too cheesy and I still liked the male counterparts. Oscar has dimension which I felt through his relationship with his young children who he is the sole carer for that gives him a softer side, he had also lost his wife to illness which gives him a different outlook on relationships and life. He is older, knowledgable and kind. Oscar is not afraid of telling Casey how he feels which feels refreshing. Silas is young, in a similar situation to Casey, struggling with trials and tribulations of what it is to be an author and dealing with grief too. He wears a leather jacket which is described often, emphasising an air of coolness. Silas seems more impulsive and exciting trying to discover who he is and also who he is as a writer. All the characters have flaws but I like that the flaws are not exaggerated or overly referred to, they are subtle which adds to the realness of the story and the characters.

Writers and lovers is a feel good book and a great read in my opinion. Although there is sadness there are lovely moments of happiness in this story. The characters are realistic and the relationships are positive as opposed to being exaggerated and creating unrealistic expectations. I loved the friendships Casey had at work, the support that she had from people in her life and her positivity and endurance to carry on and succeed even when things are not going right. Casey is able to overcome her fears and get to a better place. I knew the ending would be happy and uplifting and that’s exactly what I was looking for as typical with Rom-coms. The book will be one that I will definitely remember with a smile and would recommend to anyone wanting a feel good story and for anyone who loves books or has or had dreams of being an author.

Next I will be reading Normal People by Sally Rooney which I loved on tv so I am very excited.

How to Stop Time, The Review

book review, Uncategorized

And just as it takes a moment to die, it only takes a moment to live. you just close your eyes and let every futile fear slip away. And then, in this new state, free from fear, you ask yourself; who am I?…

Rating: 3 out of 5.

I have now finished ‘How to Stop Time’ by Matt Haig and I have been trying since, to articulate what to say to get across my feelings on the book.

The Midnight Library – loved it, would read it again

The Humans – loved it even more would definitely read again

How to stop time – I’m not a big fan

I really wanted to like this book, having loved Matt Haig’s other books and from the recommendations that people gave me, maybe that was the problem, too high expectations, but I just wasn’t feeling it.

Looking at this book as a standalone and not comparing it to the other works. I have come up with the following:

How to Stop Time has been described as:

A love story across the ages – and for the ages – about a man lost in time, the woman who could save him, and the lifetimes it can take to learn how to live

However, I did not read it as a love story, yes it is a story with a dusting of love however I wouldn’t describe it as a love story in the traditional sense. to me it a story of a man who is ’41’ (439ish) who is constantly hiding in life, afraid of being found out. afraid of his loved ones being hurt and therefore afraid to live. Before I continue I will give you a short synopsis just so you can follow me a bit easier.

Tom Hazard has a secret, a dangerous secret that no-one must find out. He may look like any other 41 year old but when Tom hit puberty he found he had a rare condition. A condition that slowed the ageing process meaning for every 15 years he would only age one year. The story cuts through time back and forth, from modern day to various eras through which Tom has lived his life. From Elizabethan England, working with William Shakespeare at the Globe to playing Piano at Ciro’s in 1920’s Paris, during the golden age of Jazz. Tom has managed to survive these 400 + years without being found after being found by the ‘albatross’ society who all also have the same condition. They protect Tom and allow him to change his identity and live a normal (ish) existence. Hendrich is the leader of the group, our main antagonist in the story. Tom is made to change his identity every 8 years to to keep his cover and protect the society. After spending 8 years alone in Iceland, Tom craves a normal life. Tom asks to be a history teacher working in London which brings a whole set of problems. Including finding love which has been prohibited as it is too high risk.

I felt this story was about a man facing himself and overcoming fear. Tom feels a lot of guilt and sadness and has held on to this for a tremendous amount of time, which doesn’t allow him to move on and live a fulfilled life, Always trying to make things right in any way he can. it is a story about family, father and daughter bond and not being afraid to live life fully and love fearlessly.

I thought the story was a great concept and there are some beautiful descriptions throughout the book however, I felt the story was missing something and I felt like it wasn’t as gripping as I had hoped making it quite difficult to read. My favourite character was Omai who we meet in part 5. He is positive, knowledgeable, worldly and kind. Omai brings the warmth to the book I was hoping for and ultimately I feel is the main turning point of the book.

Although I personally didn’t love the book I can see why people do, I liked parts of the book with William Shakespeare, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Chaplin and Captain Cook However, it did feel a bit like dropping names for the sake of a story line at times. Tom comes across as one of those ‘been there done that’ people and although he has, after being around for 439 years, I felt like everything had to relate back to a time when he had done something or saw something which I felt like a lot of things.

I think the ending was good and no, not in a ‘I’m glad that’s over’ way but I genuinely felt warm and happy with the conclusion to the story.

I am still a fan of Matt Haig’s and enjoyed his other books but you can’t always enjoy everything.

xxx